CASTLE IN THE MUD
Hey there! Hope the week went well for you and the stress of it is waning? Here's a short story of what I call CASTLE IN THE MUD.
When I dropped the phone, I was too happy to say anything. My siblings only knew that I had gotten good news when they saw my wide grin. I was proud of myself, I felt as if my status had been elevated; no one was going to see me as a child anymore for I was going to be a house owner. Oh yeah! I'm going to have my own house and live on my own, by myself (obviously) and have my own space..
I was to leave town in a matter if weeks and my super hero friend had just helped me to secure an apartment. I had dreamed of this day all my life and was all too excited to hear that he had found a place for me. You see, I've always been my family's baby, I've never really known what it meant to be a grown up even though I was approaching my mid twenties. I had most of my decisions taken for me, and I had everyone protecting me. Don't get me wrong, I liked it and it made me feel invisible. But that was just where the problem was, I was INVISIBLE. No one out there or in my family knew me, no one knew what I was capable or incapable of, no one knew if I had a personality and what was worse was that, I didn't know too. So this was my get-away free card and I was going to take it with both hands. Oh yes! And nothing was going to stop me. (This is where, I'd give out a shrill laughter).
* * *
The trip was long and arduous so I when I got in that evening or I think it's better I say night, I couldn't fully take in what I saw, plus, I was still very high on excitement, I'M HERE AT LAST!!!
In the morning, something strange greeted me. It was a smell, a not-too-good kind of smell, in fact, a very bad kind of smell. I looked out the window and was alarmed at what surrounded me, at what surrounded my house, the very house I've been so excited about. I was pained by what my eyes unkindly showed me and by what my nose allowed me to perceive.
My castle was surrounded with filth! There was trash every where and it oozed out a bad smell. I would have cried, but I had a shoulder. I felt like I was being punished for my ambition. I knew that when the news of this place gets out, all the nay-sayers would have a filled day. I would get all the "I told you sos" and I would regret it. Perhaps I should have remained in my cocoon. It was always so comfortable in there. Life was very easy and there were no ugly sights or smells. Still, I couldn't hold it all in so I called my favourite companions and poured all my grief on them. My sisters were a great comfort and for a moment, I felt at peace.
The next day, when I stepped out of my Castle, all my grief came back.
When I dropped the phone, I was too happy to say anything. My siblings only knew that I had gotten good news when they saw my wide grin. I was proud of myself, I felt as if my status had been elevated; no one was going to see me as a child anymore for I was going to be a house owner. Oh yeah! I'm going to have my own house and live on my own, by myself (obviously) and have my own space..
I was to leave town in a matter if weeks and my super hero friend had just helped me to secure an apartment. I had dreamed of this day all my life and was all too excited to hear that he had found a place for me. You see, I've always been my family's baby, I've never really known what it meant to be a grown up even though I was approaching my mid twenties. I had most of my decisions taken for me, and I had everyone protecting me. Don't get me wrong, I liked it and it made me feel invisible. But that was just where the problem was, I was INVISIBLE. No one out there or in my family knew me, no one knew what I was capable or incapable of, no one knew if I had a personality and what was worse was that, I didn't know too. So this was my get-away free card and I was going to take it with both hands. Oh yes! And nothing was going to stop me. (This is where, I'd give out a shrill laughter).
* * *
The trip was long and arduous so I when I got in that evening or I think it's better I say night, I couldn't fully take in what I saw, plus, I was still very high on excitement, I'M HERE AT LAST!!!
In the morning, something strange greeted me. It was a smell, a not-too-good kind of smell, in fact, a very bad kind of smell. I looked out the window and was alarmed at what surrounded me, at what surrounded my house, the very house I've been so excited about. I was pained by what my eyes unkindly showed me and by what my nose allowed me to perceive.
My castle was surrounded with filth! There was trash every where and it oozed out a bad smell. I would have cried, but I had a shoulder. I felt like I was being punished for my ambition. I knew that when the news of this place gets out, all the nay-sayers would have a filled day. I would get all the "I told you sos" and I would regret it. Perhaps I should have remained in my cocoon. It was always so comfortable in there. Life was very easy and there were no ugly sights or smells. Still, I couldn't hold it all in so I called my favourite companions and poured all my grief on them. My sisters were a great comfort and for a moment, I felt at peace.
The next day, when I stepped out of my Castle, all my grief came back.
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