GOODBYE OR GOOD NIGHT

It was around 10pm when father called us all out. We were a family of 7. My father always said that the number 7 represented perfection but I never really saw any perfection in my life. Although my family was not poor and we never lacked anything, I just never really felt complete. So I basically used other things to fill the void in my life. Alcohol, Weed, Cocaine, Sex, all that you could ever think of that would give you pleasure for just a few minutes. When I first tried some of these things, the pleasure lasted longer but when I continued, it seemed like the pleasure was for a shorter period.

Everyone else in my home seemed to be very joyful almost always. They were so content, sometimes I could feel their freedom but I wondered how we could all grow up in the same house and still feel an awkward distance between us. It seemed like something held me back but I wasn't sure what. My father was a Godly man and so my family was what you would call a Christian home. We all knew what Christ did on the cross of calvary but now I realize that being brought up in a christian home is not the same as being a christian neither is it the same as being born again. 

Anyway, father called us out that night, something he never did in his lifetime. We all walked into the sitting room and sat down. I presumed he had probably found my starch of coke somewhere in the house and was about to rain the house down with how someone could possibly be doing such. When we all sat down to listen to what he had to say, he took a look at my mother and smiled and kept smiling at all my siblings but when he came to me, it seemed like his smile turned upside down and jumbled together. It was not a frown, it was more like a sulky look. Like he pitied me, like he was about to cry. As I looked deeper into his eyes with a confused look, he quickly took his eyes away from me.

More episodes come up subsequently...don't touch that dial! 