DEAR HUMAN

Dear Human,

It would be hilarious to ask how you are doing because I already know, so I'll go straight to the point. 

I am not pleased with you Human. You act as if I don't exist by the many things you do and say and honestly it's embarrassing. 

Here's the reason I'm writing this letter. Amongst all the silly things you do, this one really upsets me. Why do you blurt out unprocessed opinions? You refuse to allow them pass through my scrutiny before you engage the services of the increasingly tired oral(mouth) cavity. Yes! It's getting tired of having to help you spew out your many unnecessary blabbings. 

For instance, the other day you saw your childhood friend and all you did was conjure up a very embarrassing comment. I mean how do you see a person for the first time in many years and say "Na wa o! See as you fat! You no dey gym?" WHY? You need to use me more often. If you had used me to process what you were going to say, I would have told you to stomach your comment. The abdominal department can handle it. You forget that you haven't seen this person in a while and they may have gone through a whole lot since then, life may have been hard, they may have just been diagnosed with something terrible and may be overly self-conscious about their weight and how they look and your comments may be the very last thing they would want to hear. Your unprocessed and unnecessary comment has the potential to kill their self-esteem. It doesn't matter what body size a person is, slim, skinny, fat, morbidly obese or what you call 'normal' each person needs to feel secure in themselves. Funny thing is, you call out their size as if they had no clue in the first place (this is not very wise and makes people think I am malfunctioning or that I'm just incapable of intelligence - embarrassing!) They already know how they look! They are aware that they are skinny or fat or short! So please stop with the unprocessed comments. It doesn't reflect well on me and it makes you come off as rude, insensitive, unlearned and a bully. So take a step back and consider (in essence use me) if you should speak or not? Is your relationship with that person close enough to allow you speak on what may turn out to be a sensitive topic? How best do you talk about it if you must? And while I help you out with honest responses, stay silent on that topic.

The other part is when you make emotional and technically unprocessed opinions about issues. Could be politics, education, morality, religion etc. You are often in the habit of not consulting me first before you engage, why? 

Dear Human, If you feel you need to make a point on something, consult me first and I'll inform you as to whether or not your well of knowledge can support your argument. The simple reason for this is, you easily come off as stupid or proudly unexposed when you flaunt your unprocessed opinions. Trust me, most people out there can spot unprocessed opinions. Now imagine displaying yourself and having them watch and listen to you, how does it reflect on you, Human? 

Always take a step back and ask me. I may just surprise you with my response. 

There are other stuff but these come to the fore. Pay attention to all I've said and you may well be on your way to a great life with good relationships. 

In conclusion, know that I am more resourceful than you give me credit for, so use me sometimes; I'm not asking for a lifelong commitment but then again, we are stuck together for life. That was a joke by the way, you can laugh now. In the meantime and while you make effort to consult me on stuff, keep quiet. I do hope you make this effort. 

Yours sincerely,

Your brain.